Various Anonymous (a famous Greek no doubt):
I'll be honest. I did not graduate at the top of my class. In fact, I was so close to the bottom, my sheepskin had a tail.
Everyone could tell our son was a (Tigers) fan. When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.
I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."
I’d advise you graduates to keep your graduation gown. It’s the only outfit you might not outgrow.
One thing you learn from looking at high school graduation photos -- there's a fortune to be made in dermatology.
In my graduation picture my nose is too big, my eyes are too far apart, and mouth is lopsided. My face looks like it was put together by Picasso.
Graduation is when you separate the students from the athletes.
Robert Orben
A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.
Gary Bolding
Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
Doug Larson
The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
James D'arcy
It was only when I finished the course and left my graduation diploma on the bus that I realized I'd become an actor.
Garry Trudeau
Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.
Source Unknown
One thing about the school of experience is that it will repeat the lesson if you flunk the first time.
George Foreman
I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today.
Robert Goheen
If you feel that you have both feet planted on level ground, then the university has failed you.
Proverb
You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.
Oscar Wilde
Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught.
George Bush
Study hard; and you might grow up to be President. But let's face it: Even then, you'll never make as much money as your dog.
W. H. Auden
A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep.
Source: http://halife.com/daily/archives/graduation_fun-liners.html